Wednesday, November 04, 2009

 

Chris Brogan on being "them-centric"

Chris knows that building relationships, trust and credibility means talking less about yourself, and more about others – their wants, needs, interests, etc.

In his weekly newsletter yesterday, Chris outlined three simple but important ways to be “them-centric” more often. Here they are:

Always ask about the other person first. In social gatherings, be quick to ask about the other person's interests, what's currently on their mind, whatever turns the conversation to them.

Look at your efforts through others' eyes. Now, in measuring your self-worth, your own eyes are the only ones that matter, but in trying to better understand how well you're serving people's needs, try to see it from their side. Are you quick to pounce? Do you have their interests at heart or yours? The more clarity you can bring to this, the better you'll do.

Accept that you WILL get a turn. I taught this to my daughter over the years, and she seems to really practice this. Sometimes, she is last to take her turn, but she knows that she'll get a chance. This rings true for how we approach our interactions with others. Take a breath. Relax. Know that your story will come out when the pause is just right. It's okay to be assertive if the other person failed their kindergarten lessons on sharing, but otherwise, go slowly.


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